South High Day School provides an education that deliberately and effectively balances academics with attention to the ethical development of its students. The school has achieved this by creating an ethos and curriculum focused well beyond test scores and college acceptance statistics. Students are required to be involved in activities that take them out of the classroom and into real-life experiences. There’s a structure in place to help identify needs on campus and in the surrounding urban community, and a way to connect all students to meaningful service that fits their interests and strengths.
Sheila Wilkinson loves her job as coordinator of the many academic and extracurricular projects the students and faculty want to undertake. One of her most important jobs is coordinating parent participation in the projects. The structure is a good for everyone: parents who help with school projects provide much needed adult input and guidance, so that teachers don’t feel all projects weighing only on their shoulders. Furthermore, by participating alongside students and teachers, the parents strengthen their connection to the school community, increase their appreciation for the exciting and innovative activities going on at the school, and deepen their understanding of the school’s educational philosophy: “preparing the next generation of leadership through real world education.”
Michael Francis joined the school community this year as an 11th grader. He is a quiet student but his grades are solid and he participates as expected both in class and in the project-based schoolwork around town. While both parents attended the interview and orientation sessions the previous year during the admissions process, Mrs. Francis has only attended parent conferences so far this school year. In contrast, Mr. Francis is a lively and noticeable volunteer on a number of projects around campus. He signed up to assist on one of Michael’s required projects in the fall, and got involved in two other areas of campus life during the first three months of school. Wilkinson often wishes more parents were as devoted and enthusiastic as Mr. Francis. Of course, many parents work full time, as does Mrs. Francis, and Mr. Francis has mentioned that currently he is “between jobs.”
Wilkinson now has occasion to take stock of just how much Mr. Francis has contributed. He has approached her to write him “a letter of reference.” He needs documentation, on school letterhead, of all he has done to support and connect with his son’s education. When Wilkinson asks why he needs the letter, Mr. Francis becomes a bit vague. “It never hurts to build your résumé in a variety of directions,” he explains. He asks that Wilkinson use “To whom it may concern” as the greeting, implying that he may want to use the letter more than once in the future.
Wilkinson hesitates about supplying the letter because of the current school rumor that Mr. and Mrs. Francis are divorcing, and locked in a heated custody battle over Michael. This may explain why Mr. Francis is seeking a letter of reference from the school, or the rumor could be entirely false.
Wilkinson is struggling. Her instincts tell her it’s a bad idea for the school to provide documentation that could wind up being used in a custody battle. Wilkinson is also beginning to question why Mr. Francis is so involved at the school. Is he truly interested in being directly connected to his son’s educational experience, or is he doing the right thing for the wrong reason?
On the other hand, Mr. Francis may want the letter for innocent purposes, and questioning his motives seems hurtful and ungrateful given all that he’s done. Shouldn’t he receive credit where credit is due? Wilkinson is also aware of how limited the local job market is currently. She can see the value of providing this letter.
Wilkinson considers this dilemma from both the “individual vs. community” angle and from a “short-term vs. long-term” perspective. If Mr. Francis is seeking documentation to build a case against his wife, those individual needs must be considered in light of the entire school community’s needs — which, in this case, is for the preservation of the school’s innovative program. Currently, the program is credible and respected, but if Mr. Francis were to use the letter in a custody battle, it would likely hurt the program. Similarly, Wilkinson must weigh the short-term gain of pleasing one parent who has had a significant role in this work, against the long-term risk of tarnishing the school’s reputation by embroiling it in controversy. Separate, and even more important to Wilkinson, she must think about the impact of her actions on Michael. What if she provides the reference and it is used against his mother in court? How might this affect Michael’s confidence in South High?
In the end, Wilkinson chose a “greater good” approach to her problem. She checked with the school’s legal office, which advised her to provide only a list of activities and hours if she provided anything at all. Feeling that even this might be perceived as supporting Mr. Francis should it come to that, Wilkinson’s instincts told her to leave well enough alone. She held a meeting with Mr. Francis and tried to be as honest as possible without prying. She said that she felt it would be better to know how the letter of reference would be used, and to have a specific name in the greeting, especially if it went on school letterhead.
Mr. Francis was polite, but did not volunteer any more information, nor did he ever ask for the letter again. During second semester, Mr. Francis did not become involved in any projects at the school. By summer, Michael’s parents had divorced and Mr. Francis had moved away from the area.