The dilemma we present here is real, told to us for your consideration. We change only names and occasionally some of the details to protect privacy of the individuals and/or organizations involved. If you have an ethical dilemma that you would like to share, please contact the editorial staff at Independent School ([email protected]).
Julia and Nancy are the two “queen bees” of their middle school. They earned that label from Curtis Jones, the school head, because it seems so important to them to be the most popular girls in the school. Julia and Nancy are constantly competing with each other socially — convincing classmates to take one side or the other. If you support Julia, you’re against Nancy. If you support Nancy, you’re against Julia. A large group of students constantly switch allegiance, though most feel caught in the middle or uncomfortable with the ongoing feud.
Jones wishes he could rely on Julia and Nancy’s parents to mitigate this rivalry and to keep them focused on schoolwork. But in both cases, the girls’ parents are “super busy” and rarely involved with their daughters. While this may go a long way toward explaining their behavior, it doesn’t help Jones deal with Julia and Nancy, since both girls tend to dismiss authority and are unconcerned about the disruptions to class work and the consternation they cause their fellow students.
While these kinds of rivalries are not uncommon in middle school, texting and social media certainly make things worse nowadays. Gone is the possible confrontation on the walk home from school — these girls are reportedly in frequent, all-night Facebook battles. No longer are old-fashioned scribbled notes passed behind a teacher’s back — Julia and Nancy send nasty text messaging and photos whipping around the classroom and through the halls at high volume, all in violation of the school’s cell-phone-use policy.
Recently, Jones has received numerous complaints from teachers and students that Julia and Nancy are having a particularly vicious day. Exasperated, he brings both girls into his office, explains the complaints and explains that their parents will need to be notified — both about their cell phone use during school, and their all-night use of the Internet. Both girls shrug, apparently confident that their parents are too busy to care.
Jones faces a dilemma. If he attempts to involve the parents, they could be apathetic or they might show up with print outs, providing evidence against the other child, but Jones is not optimistic about either parent sincerely trying to help. On the other hand, Jones does not have time to take on this parenting role and he’s concerned about the increasing problems the girls’ technology usage continues to create.
Resolution
Jones decides to appeal to the school’s Ethical Literacy team — a team of students trained in ethics concepts and processes to better understand core ethical values and ethical decision-making. With adult guidance and supervision, selected team members meet with Nancy and Julia, talking with them about their hurtful and disruptive behavior. The team explores values, such as respect, responsibility, and compassion, among others. The team tries to get both Nancy and Julia to understand the specific ways in which their behavior goes against such values, and how cell phones and the Internet can make a bad problem much worse.
Jones now reports a positive shift in the girls’ behavior, if not a complete transformation. The girls continue to have issues, but these seem to have decreased. Jones is cautious not to attribute this entirely to the work of the Ethical Literacy team, since several possibilities come to mind:
- The girls’ natural growth and development have led them on to other things, which Jones has observed with other similar students in the past.
- The switch to a student-to-student intervention has taken away adult attention from the girls. If the girls were getting in trouble in order to increase their contact with adults (since negative attention is better than none at all), that motivation is no longer a factor.
- Learning from peers may indeed be a more effective approach for these particular girls.
Whatever the reason for the change, Jones is pleased. Julia and Nancy’s behavior is improving. By taking on this problem, the Ethical Literacy team is providing Jones with time and space to focus on other important matters. Meanwhile, the team is modeling a learning process that encourages authentic student input and skill building. It’s a win-win-win for Jones and the school.