Nearly a decade ago, I conducted a small study with Black independent school alumni, the results of which I presented at the 2014 NAIS People of Color Conference. One of the major takeaways was that although many graduates believed they had received an excellent education, they were unsure whether they would choose to repeat their experience.
Similar sentiments surfaced more recently when the Black@ initiative started on Instagram and gained nationwide attention after the murder of George Floyd in 2020. These Black@ posts about independent schools prompted many schools to revise their mission statements, hire DEI directors, and launch new initiatives in their communities. But school leaders may have been too quick to think these efforts would sufficiently address complaints. To the contrary, parental wariness among Black families seems to remain––and parents may be more likely to express their concerns today than they were even a few years ago.
Understanding the Root of Black Parents’ Anxiety
Despite the ethnic and racial diversity in the student body makeup today, diversity among independent school staff and administration still lags, leaving lingering questions about belonging. This reality can leave Black parents wondering, especially when presented with questions about their child’s behavior or academic performance, whether their child is fully understood and supported––and can add to the fear that the school does not see their child as they see other children in the community.
Researchers have long observed that Black students are more often negatively stereotyped than their white counterparts in terms of their behavior and academic performance. A 2016 study conducted at Yale, “Do Early Educators’ Implicit Biases Regarding Sex and Race Relate to Behavior Expectations and Recommendations of Preschool Expulsions and Suspensions?” found that teachers scrutinize the behavior of the Black boys in their class more than they do the white boys, leading to higher rates of perceived behavior problems.
A 2020 study conducted in collaboration with Yale, “Racial/Ethnic and Gender Disparities in Teachers’ Evaluations of Children’s Noncognitive Skills and Academic Ability,” found that despite comparable test scores, white teachers rate Black students lower in cognitive ability than their white peers. A 2012 study, “Experimental Evidence for the Intention–Behavior Relationship in the Physical Activity Domain” observed that the grades teachers gave students changed based solely on whether the student paper had a more Black-sounding name than a white-sounding one.
It is precisely the perception of different treatment that can arouse suspicions of bias. Given that education remains instrumental to the future of Black students, it should not be surprising that some parents push back when school leaders and teachers deliver news that feels like it’s threatening the implicit promise of achieving future dreams.
The Pollyanna Effect
In 2013, I wrote an Independent School magazine article about a phenomenon I called “The Pollyanna Effect,” which I described as the tendency for independent schools to wrap their messages so nicely that parents don’t hear actual concerns. I described how these kinds of unspoken messages cause the most confusion and misunderstanding and throw many parents of color for a loop.
When teachers sugarcoat their communication with parents about their children’s academic or behavioral challenges, attempting to soften the message of concern–– whether expressed in writing in a report card or in person at a conference––the feedback is not interpreted as the teacher intended. The parent takes little, if any, action and the issue often worsens.
By the time the area of difficulty is apparent to all, the parents may perceive that there’s been a missed opportunity—wondering if the issue could have been remedied with earlier attention or intervention. Unfortunately, if parents feel blindsided by this delayed feedback, thinking, “Why are we only hearing about this now?” it can inadvertently sow seeds of mistrust. This greater mistrust leads them to question whether we doubt their child’s ability to grow, are not paying close attention to their child, or are being dishonest for some reason. This heightened sensitivity is understandable, especially if parents perceive observations to be rooted in bias.
What Can Schools Do?
Given that much of the distrust is based on the perception and reality of disparate treatment, the solution must ensure that all students receive equivalent treatment. A wise, retired professor friend of mine often reminds me that if educators just treated everybody the same, there wouldn’t be so many questions about teachers’ motives.
The recommendations I share here—based on more than 20 years as a school psychologist and a deep understanding of parental anxiety—can be useful for teachers of all students and can help mitigate, and possibly eliminate, much of the bias Black parents may believe is impacting their child.
Create a process and share it. By clearly articulating expectations about behavior or academic performance, teachers can more easily explain their concerns to parents in a way that minimizes the possibility of bias. Develop uniform, shared criteria that apply to all students and form the basis for teacher recommendations of support, such as tutoring or testing, which can help alleviate the possibility of parents thinking that the school’s recommendations are arbitrary or target their children due to racial bias.
Given that independent school teachers have considerable autonomy, it’s possible that two teachers of the same grade have different criteria, making it critical to have defined criteria they can articulate to parents, hopefully in advance of issues being raised. For example, a teacher may say that in first grade, they expect a student to be able to sustain attention for a certain period of time and follow teacher directives with a minimal number of prompts. Or there may be an expectation that students are able to perform math computations with a certain level of proficiency or write an essay of a certain length.
With defined criteria, teachers will have a clearer sense of when they should communicate with parents and, therefore, will be less likely to delay difficult conversations or refrain from reaching out about a non-issue. Parents will know that speaking about certain issues based on specific criteria is standard practice, easing worry and fears about teacher bias among Black parents.
Make sure feedback is constructive. Black parents already have reasons to be mistrustful, which can mean they are more likely to have a difficult time with news about their child’s struggle. Since parental anxiety often stems from a fear that a teacher’s negative report might jeopardize their child’s status at the school, the ability to offer a plan can minimize the possibility of mistrust.
When sharing an observed concern, offering a solution or strategic approach to the challenge the teacher is pointing out is likely to put the parent more at ease. A clear plan comes across as collaborative and supportive rather than suggesting possible or future abandonment.
Cultivate goodwill. Put “money in the bank” with parents who might feel more marginalized in the community. Try to communicate at least one positive and genuine message to the parent about their child before approaching them with a concern. But don’t do it the week before giving them less-than-desirable news about their child. They will see this coming, and it will further exacerbate any mistrust that might already exist.
One teacher I know sends each of her parents an email once a month. Each week, she emails a quarter of her class parents. Her emails consist of a few sentences about something each student does well, even if only to persist at something challenging. In doing this, she is communicating genuine positive regard for each of the children in her class and highlighting how she really knows them, their likes, competencies, and personalities.
When parents feel like a teacher knows their child, they are more likely to tolerate news about concerns from them down the road.
Building a Foundation for Success
Parents across the board feel anxiety when they get what they deem to be bad news about issues their kids are struggling with in school. The job of every parent is to keep their child safe, and even an unintentional threat on the part of well-meaning educators can understandably foster a defensive and protective stance from parents.
By establishing uniform expectations, proactively communicating concerns, providing constructive feedback, and implementing actionable support plans, schools can create the infrastructure necessary for the collaboration that is the foundation of success for every child in our institutions.