A little more than a week ago, nearly 200 brave souls officially began a new headship at an independent school––some of whom are first-time heads of school, joining these leadership ranks for the first time. I’m thrilled to offer a very warm welcome from NAIS, wishing brand-new heads and seasoned leaders transitioning headship alike success for the road ahead.
To that end, I have always loved hearing heads reflect on their first year of headship, the good and the challenging––and everything in between. Their war stories are memorable, and their advice always thoughtful, pointing out potholes they hope other new heads might avoid and capturing windows of insight that sustained them and helped them succeed.
To harness some of this hard-earned wisdom, I recently reached out to our network of more than 1,700 NAIS heads and asked them what advice they’d give to a new head. My inbox quickly flooded with responses, reminding me that this is a community committed not only to the success of their own schools but also to the success of all schools. I am pleased to share highlights of their pearls of wisdom below.
Heads tell me theirs is a job like no other, the most purposeful job they have ever had. Even during the biggest challenges we’ve faced as a sector (like getting through the pandemic), most heads—three-quarters, in fact, according to NAIS research—continue to maintain that the job is worth the challenges. What makes it worth it? I gather it’s the personal and professional fulfillment, and the chance to play the long game—to have a foundational impact on the students in your care today and on students of tomorrow. Independent schools engage in this work in a way that is truly unique within the education landscape, and that’s something I am thankful for every day.
Advice for New Heads
1. “Listen to understand.” and “Be your school’s chief anthropologist.”
NAIS heads of school say to begin by listening. “Do not underestimate the value of getting to know and building relationships with every contingent of your community,” and “The gift of year one is that you get to listen.” This takes a lot of time, time that you may feel you should be devoting to other priorities. But, as one head says, “There simply are no shortcuts here." This will build trust, which will come in handy during hard conversations.
Many heads have specific suggestions for conducting a “listening tour,” such as meeting every trustee by the first board meeting and all faculty (individually or in groups) by September 15 and asking every constituent the same three questions: What do you love about the school? What would you never change? And what do you see as areas for potential change? Listening for patterns and shared language in the responses will teach you about the school culture, as well as potential third rails. And as a bonus, you’ll have material for your first board meeting, parent presentation, and faculty meeting.
2. “First-year heads have superpowers, but there is a shelf-life on these powers.”
Much of the advice the heads offer relates to decision-making. Many endorse the notion of making very few changes in the first year. Others suggest that your first year might give you a unique window of opportunity: “If there is anything to ‘clean up,’ take the brave step and do it with integrity and lots of communication, but do it while you can, while you can still say to the board, ‘This should have been done long ago.’”
Several heads offer sage advice about centering hard decisions in the school mission, in what’s best for the school and the students: “When confronted with difficult decisions, always root your answers in doing what is best for kids. It is what we are hired to do.”
3. “You can only accomplish your vision as a partner with the board.”
Another key theme is the importance of tending to your relationship with the board, and especially the board chair. “Key to EVERYTHING is board support.”
Get to know the individual trustees and let them know you both as a person and as a decision-maker. “Do not take the board of trustees for granted and take time to build the relationship. They are all volunteers. They need support. They need training.” And building trust with your board chair is particularly worth investment: “Neither partner should ever be surprised nor feel that they have been kept in the dark.”
In addition to prioritizing meetings with each trustee as part of your initial “listening tour,” have a frank conversation with your board chair about the cadence and format of your regular meetings (before-school meetings have a natural cutoff, advises one head) and preferences for modes of communication.
As the year progresses and challenging situations arise, seek advice from the board but gently remind them that it is your decision to make. “Bring generative questions to the board. You do not have to have all the answers, and your trustees want to contribute to the work of the school.”
4. “Building a highly effective leadership team is the holy grail of leadership not only for the long-term well-being of the school but for your own well-being.”
Get to know your team and let them know you. One head suggests, “Share and communicate the ‘top 10 things people should know about you.’ You'll tie together honesty, humor, and humility, while also communicating how you work and what you need.”
“Prioritize hiring and supporting excellence with your senior leadership team,” says one head. “This is the most important group, apart from the board, in ensuring your school is strong. Focus on building a high-trust team and ensure you are meeting with each of them in a 1:1 setting regularly.” Another says, “You have permission to build the team you need."
Set up routines your team can rely on. “Co-design and co-curate leadership team meeting norms in your first meeting,” and “End each one-on-one meeting with your direct reports with the question, ‘What do you need from me?’”
Heads advise delegating whenever possible––“to show faith in your colleagues, have more impact, stay sane, and help people further their careers in ways that will win their loyalty.”
And, of course, say thank you. “Give genuine, specific credit and praise as often as you can,” “Value everyone who works for you,” and “Emphasize the positive things everyone is doing without denying what needs work.”
5. “Have your school's attorney on speed dial.”
“Ensuring that you have highly capable legal counsel available to support the school is critical. While it is expensive, the lawsuits you might avoid make it well worth the investment.” Many heads talked about the value of connecting with the school’s attorney in “calm times,” before any issues arise. It’s also a good time to arrange for a legal review of your handbooks, an annual orientation for faculty and staff, and an annual training for hiring supervisors.
Several heads also suggest having a personal attorney on hand to help you with your contract and navigate any unforeseen challenges.
6. “You need rest, recreation, time with friends and family just like everyone else. Your decisions as head of school will be better as a result.” and “No job is worth losing your family over.”
Much of the heads’ most thoughtful advice centers around self-care. “Book your February vacation now,” said one. One suggests securing in advance the “non-negotiables you need to make work-life balance a greater possibility.”
Be clear with your team and parents about when your “off” time is––this models boundary-setting for them too. One head noted that his team knows he is out of touch on certain days from 5:30 to 7:30 pm, because that's when he makes dinner with his family and enjoys time with his young kids before bed. He often works after that window, but his team understands that unless it’s an emergency, or he has a preset school obligation, that time is sacrosanct.
One retired head noted that his assistant often pushed him out the door for his daily run, which would take about an hour. He developed a mantra of “take the hour,” because he knew it would make him a better leader in many ways, especially since exercise gave him processing time so he could make better decisions.
From exercise to Netflix binges, to gardening, heads say that leaning into hobbies and building in time to refresh, away from campus, is absolutely essential. One head describes it as “managing your own retention.”
7. “Use your network. You will need help, and you will need to give help.”
Many heads suggest you “find your people" and surround yourself with other heads to help you handle what can be a lonely job. One says, “Build trusting friendships to get through the many valleys and dips of the job—and for the laughs and needed space to share and celebrate the many successes/victories.” Female heads and heads of color in particular pointed out the value of connecting with heads in your area or via NAIS outlets. Having a “counsel” group outside your school can also help set your own school’s challenges in context.
The heads also emphasize how invaluable executive coaches and mentors are —“someone who understands the complexities of headship without being at my school” and “someone you pay, not the board chair, who is built to listen and support you.” Some suggest writing them into your contract. Many heads say they chose retired heads as their coaches or mentors—people “who can help us make sense of what is at times nonsensical, and to help us think through tricky situations.”
Finally, NAIS heads offer words of encouragement: “Don't underestimate how much you already know,” “Remember: You were chosen as the best match at the time, and you demonstrated qualities that aligned with your school search committee’s vision for the next head. Your values matched the school’s values, and your leadership skills are what the school community needs,” and “You were hired to be you, not someone else. Use your voice and strengths from day one.”
